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Rising String: 4 Tips to Cope with Failure

Writer's picture: Loris HaddadLoris Haddad

In a world where success stories often conceal the struggles that precede them, have you ever thought about celebrating the journey from failure to success? Join me on a transformative journey inspired by the words of Oliver Goldsmith's, “Our greatest glory is, not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”. These words serve as a guiding light in my personal path of hope and resilience.



As I sit down to write this, I can’t help but notice the irony of the situation. Here I am, delving into the topic of failure while feeling a sense of fulfillment. Much like your story, mine is packed with setbacks encountered in many facets of my life - whether in school, career, personal life, or the internal conflicts that we often keep to ourselves. However, the essence of my journey is not defined by the frequency of these failures but rather by my ability to get back up, shake off the dust, and move on.


This blog extends beyond the exploration of failure, it's a celebration of how determination can truly transform us. Every failure with its unique set of lessons and obstacles is instrumental in growing resilience.

 

What is failure?


Failure is perceived differently by many people, but in a recent discussion with Dr. Mona Gebrael El Hachem, a licensed mental health counselor and doctor in psychology based in Massachusetts, explored the multifaceted nature of failure. Dr. Gebrael El Hachem, who specializes in mood and personality disorders and runs a mental health group practice, Like a Phoenix, offered a brief yet profound definition of failure: “it's essentially not meeting expectations - these expectations can be personal, societal, or a combination of both.”


Dr. Gebrael El Hachem claims that failure often leads to a sense of dissatisfaction, impacting our self-esteem. This, in turn, can have significant effects on our relationships and occupational functioning. The experience of not fulfilling what we or others anticipate from us can lead to a deep sense of incompetence and affect our overall mental well-being.


In the following section of this blog, we will look at strategies to cope with failure and transform those experiences into possibilities for growth and resilience.

 

Guidance for coping with failure 

In this section, we will look at professional advice from the University of Melbourne on managing the challenges of failure. These thoughtful techniques emphasize the importance of emotional resilience, the power of self-compassion, and the transforming path of developing a growth mindset.


1. Allow Yourself to Feel

Allow yourself to experience negative feelings such as shame, disappointment, or rage following a failure. Avoiding these sensations gives only brief comfort and blocks emotional processing. Instead, recognize and accept these feelings and allow yourself time to process them. Remember that failure iscommon and necessary for success.


2. Practice Kindness Towards Yourself

Practicing self-compassion is essential for self-care throughout failure. Recognize the pain and treat yourself with the same compassion you would show others. Being kind and understanding of yourself, rather than self-critical, and accepting human weakness and the inevitability of mistakes. Taking this helps to create resilience and the willingness to try again after failures. Self-compassion may be developed by treating yourself as you would treat a friend in suffering, keeping a self-compassion journal, or taking vacations dedicated to self-compassion.


3. Consider the Experience and Embrace a Mindset of Personal Development

Learning from past mistakes, regardless of how painful they are, may help you prepare for future challenges and build resilience. To benefit, ask yourself what lessons can be extracted from these experiences. Adopting a growth mindset, in which you believe in your ability to acquire and enhance talents and qualities over time, is preferable to a fixed mentality, which sees abilities as unchanging. Recognize that failure does not indicate inferiority but rather a chance for development and learning.


4. Look Over Your Goals and Plan for What is Next

Focusing too much on previous failures can block growth. Review your goals and plans and treat yourself with respect after accepting the emotions and lessons learned from a failure. Make sure your objectives are reasonable and attainable! Setting and accomplishing objectives that are significant to you and match your beliefs increase your chances of success.


Rising above the challenges 

This blog discusses the complexities of failure, how it affects self-esteem and mental health, and how self-compassion and learning from these experiences are essential for progress.  It also explores the complex areas of failure, emphasizing that genuine achievement isn't about avoiding challenges but rising above them, which is a feeling wonderfully expressed by Oliver Goldsmith.


The key message is that nothing in life should prevent you from trying again. If you find yourself struggling to cope with everyday failures and you are searching for ways to rise upagain, Compass Coaching is here to assist you. Schedule a 30-minute complimentary session with our coaches, dedicated to guiding you on your transforming journey, ensuring you don't endorse failure as a norm in your life after a fall. This blog is a reminder and a guide for embracing failure, learning from it, and using the lessons for personal growth. Each failure brings us closer to success, with every lesson laying the groundwork for future accomplishments.

 

References

Melbourne., U. o. (nd). Coping with Failure. Récupéré sur Student Counseling Service.: https://services.unimelb.edu.au/counsel/resources/study-related-issues/coping-with-failure

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