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Writer's pictureLoris Haddad

Coaching through Grief

Updated: Apr 15

Grief is an inevitable part of human experience, a profound sorrow that touches every life in its unique way. My personal journey through grief has been long and difficult, marked by the loss of precious family members, friends, pets, and the heartbreak of a miscarriage, revealing that while grief remains a lasting companion in life, its form and how we navigate it evolves with each experience. In this blog, we will explore the essence of grief, its multifaceted character, and delve into what grief truly is. We’ll discuss the phases of mourning, its impact on our emotional and physiological well-being, and shed light on the individuality of each person’s grief journey. 





What is Grief? 


Grief, as described by George Bonanno, is a complex and highly individualized response to loss, particularly when it includes the death of a person or something to whom one cares strongly, extending beyond the emotional distress following the death of a loved one. It can arise from various forms of loss, such as the end of a relationship, declining health, unemployment, or shattered dreams. This experience covers a broad spectrum of emotions, from profound sorrow and longing to anger and guilt, and it can also influence physical well-being by affecting sleep patterns, eating habits, and energy levels. Bonanno emphasizes that grief is not a uniform, unchanging process but a personalized journey that can lead to personal growth and increased resilience over time. 


Grief is more than enduring a state; it is a process of adapting to a reality where something or someone essential is irreversibly lost. It involves navigating through phases of pain, reflection, acceptance, and ultimately finding a new way of existing in the world without the presence of what was lost. This perspective underscores the significance of providing support and compassion to individuals who are grieving, acknowledging the uniqueness of their experiences.


The Symptoms of Grief 


Grief manifests in various ways affecting thoughts, inner self, and physical health. Emotional symptoms include unexpected waves of intense emotions ranging from intense grief and rage to unexpected happiness which makes you feel as if you are functioning on autopilot and detached from your feelings. Physical symptoms, such as tiredness, headaches, insomnia, or excessive sleep and weakened immune systems, highlight the significant stress that grief places on our body. 


The Stages of Loss: Insights from Elisabeth Kübler-Ross 


Elisabeth Kübler-Ross' model comprising denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, serves as a widely recognized framework for understanding the emotional journey of grief. 


1- Denial: Acts as a shock absorber for the sudden effect of loss. It's a temporary defense mechanism that allows us to withstand the first shock. Individuals in this stage may find it difficult to accept the loss, resulting in remarks such as "This can't be happening." 


2- Anger: As the effects of denial wear off, the pain of loss becomes apparent. Anger can be aimed toward others, those who have passed away, oneself, or God.  Anger fills the gap left by loss, helping the griever to vent and process their emotions.


3- Bargaining: Following anger, bargaining seeks control or delays the inevitable. It is distinguished by "If only" remarks, which indicate our efforts to negotiate our way out of suffering. 


4- Depression: reflects the reality of loss. In this stage, a person might experience emptiness, despair, and profoundness. 


5- Acceptance: is about acknowledging the new permanent reality and moving forward. 



Benefits of Grief Coaching 


Grief coaching, a new field that provides support and assistance to those navigating the complicated process of loss, has received attention due to its potential benefits. Unlike traditional therapy, which focuses on diagnosing and treating mental health issues, grief coaching takes a more individualized and goal-oriented approach. Here are some valuable benefits of grief coaching:


  • Improved coping methods: Grief coaching helps people develop unique coping methods for dealing with severe emotions associated with loss, as well as developing emotional healing and resilience through practical approaches.

  • Personalized Support and Guidance: Grief coaching provides customized, one-on-one support system, providing assistance to the individual's specific requirements and ensuring they feel heard, acknowledged, and understood.

  • Goal Setting and Achievement: Grief coaches help clients create realistic, attainable objectives during their healing journey. This procedure assists people in regaining a sense of control and purpose in their lives, which can be severely disturbed by loss.

  • Enhanced knowledge about grief: Coaches guide clients on the mourning process, which helps to normalize their experiences and feelings. This improved awareness can help to lessen feelings of isolation and confusion, resulting in a better emotional state.

  • Encourage in Rebuilding Life: Grief coaching assists clients in developing new interests and goals in order to integrate loss into a healthy future.




Recovering with Compass Coaching


This blog concludes by emphasizing the uniqueness of everyone’s grief journey and introducing Compass Coaching as a supportive resource. Compass Coaching experienced coaches are aware that everyone's journey through grief is unique, and we offer personalized coaching to help you manage this challenging time. Grief coaching can be particularly useful when clients are looking for meaning and personal growth during their grieving process. The coach can help individuals examine their feelings and experiences in a transforming way. Schedule your complimentary 30-minute session to share your experience and discuss methods to cope and recover. Remember that mourning is a deeply personal process with no right or wrong way to navigate it. Compass Coaching stands ready to provide understanding and support at everyone’s pace. 



References

Bonanno, G. A. (2019). The other side of sadness: What the new science of bereavement tells us about life after loss. Hachette UK.


Kübler-Ross, E. (1969). On Death and Dying. New York: Macmillan.


Neimeyer, R. A. (2015). Techniques of grief therapy: Assessment and intervention. Routledge.

professional, C. C. (2023, 02 22). Grief. Retrieved from Cleveland Clinic : https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24787-grief


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